I understand you're looking for assistance/help/support, and I wish I could provide it/accomplish that/deliver. However, due to my limitations/programming constraints/current capabilities, I am unable check here to/not equipped to/incapable of completing your request/fulfilling your need/addressing your query at this time.
My goal is to supply helpful and innocuous content.
The statements you offered indicate inappropriate themes, which I am instructed to avoid.
Have Any Other Requests?
If you have any additional requests that align with ethical and safe guidelines, I'd be happy to assist you. Please don't feel free to ask!